Communicating Concepts

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San Diego Figure Skating Communications

Rejection -
and its effect on us

Not placing first is not the same as being rejected
     Athletes must learn to deal with various forms of rejection that are related to their participation in sports. Just because they don't place first or win a game, they have not been summarily rejected by judges, officials, spectators, or fans. As long as an athlete(s) are making an effort to perform the audience usually will remain supportive.

     However, if the spectators feel that the athlete(s) is NOT playing well and committing careless errors, they will quickly express their displeasure. In some sports such as football, basket ball, soccer, and ice hockey, spectators are unusually partisan and can be very quick to boo an error or perceived poor performance by an athlete or team.

    There may be a point in which a team or player's emotions are quickly changed from positive to negative. This is especially noticeable in team sports with the emotional advantage changing because a major error, fumble, or interception, missed scoring opportunity, etc.

     Some people describe themselves with labels such as a "loser" or "failure" so it should not come as a shock when they slip into a serious mental depression requiring professional medical counseling.

Self worth should never be determined solely by the opinion of others!
      Society sends a message to our children that being a good boy or girl will cause people to treat them as being worthy, even deserving of respect while inferring that people will automatically dislike us if we are considered worthless.

     We should learn not to measure our self worth solely on how others accept us as this allows them be in control of our moods and actions.

Depression and Rejection
     Depression is frequently associated with feelings of rejection. A MAJOR reason an individual may become depressed after experiencing rejection is they fail to take actions to neutralize the effect of the rejection.

    Burying feelings of rejection only serves to suppress them deeply into the subconscious mind. Ignoring problems only allows them to accumulate and eventually they become the primary source for depression. Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them while others  When they do so their subconscious minds usually responds back with depression.

    Coaches usually subscribe to the adage "If you fall off a horse, get back on immediately"!

Possible Sources of Rejection
     Deal with rejection by documenting your strengths and weaknesses. You must first learn to know yourself if you are to reject false images of yourself that will only limit your potential.

    By providing alternative reasons for the rejection then you won't feel bad at all after the rejection.

   Rejection can be caused because of:

  • Jealousy of your achievements, your looks, or of anything else
  • Fear cause by insecurity and fears losing prestige, valued relationships, status, or personal property.
  • Feelings of being ignored, unintentionally or intentionally, by someone for being ignored .
  • Causing a Perceived Hurt without acknowledging responsibility or saying "I am Sorry"!
  • A Conflict of Interests with someone else's.

    People may have different reasons to dislike or even reject you for reasons unrelated to your worth. Dealing with rejection requires that you understand that your self worth can not be measured by the opinions of others.

    Rejection by someone does not devalue your self worth. Don't attempt to initiate changes just to please others or you will lose your self confidence!

  • How to deal with rejection  6 Nov 2011. Dealing with the 'cold shoulder'. How to deal with rejection, disappointment and stop it happening again.

Recommended Reading:
  • Rejection is Painful  May 13, 2011 New research suggests the sting of social rejection may be more like the ouch caused by physical pain than previously understood.

The Sports Environment


The following internet links have been gleaned from personal communications
combined with information from public institutions and athletic organizations/
associations that have a web presence with information concerning team and
individual sports programs:

Healthy Relationships

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