Communicating Concepts

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External Sources of Confidence

What creates confidence?
      Our self confidence is derived from external and internal factors. Our competitive society shapes our idea of what defines being a failure and successful. Unfortunately our self image also is driven by advertising and shows that:
  • Hype sexual themes,
  • Weight consciousness,
  • Our concept of what constitutes beauty and plain,
  • Acceptance by drinking and smoking.
  • Singles dating and living situations.
      Reality TV, gossip shows, and sports events cater to specific audiences that advertisers want to reach with their messages promoting product consumption and the purchase of possessions representing wealth and social status such as:
  • The latest flashy new car,
  • Looking, dressing, and living like a celebrity,
  • Wealth,
  • Power,
  • An attractive spouse that serves as a trophy for a much older person.
Self confidence is derived from our subconscious
      People should judge each individual based on what they do and not on promises that we like to hear. When we are young, we don't think in terms of how people will judge us in 10 or 20 years. If we did, we might rethink what we do in the present and how it may have a pronounced negative impact on our lives in the future when we have children or run for political office. In today's digital use of email, facebook and twitter, our communications can never be completely deleted. Errors in judgment definitely do require damage control to overcome our mistakes. Attempting to cover-up these errors proves to put us under even more scrutiny.

     There are people who are amoral and can lie without any pangs of conscious because the concept of right and wrong does not exist, therefore they feel no guilt for any harm they cause. This type of individual exudes an aurora that we trust and have confidence in. This allows them to excel in sales that are highly speculative and generally only make money for the promoters.
    
     On a basic level most individual only feel confident when we feel we are loved and appreciated by those we respect and hold in high esteem. If we lose their support, we will lose our self confidence. Once you've have experienced the external gratification of “being important”, it can be difficult to accept the loss of adoration and even more difficult to recapture our former status and social standing if we fall off our pedestal.  A tarnished image implies a damage self-confidence that can be difficult and time consuming to repair the damage.

Reality check
    
We expect people to provide praise, even adoration, when we have completed a project or performance that we feel  proud of. However, our self esteem takes a heavy hit if people are not supportive and especially if their feedback is uniformly negative. Such rejections can be devastating.

     It should not be surprising that we become heavily invested in the reception of our hard work that represents weeks or months of concerted effort. A loss of self confidence occurs if you perceive the comments as a personal rejection and friends, family, and associates fail to appreciate your efforts.

     Some people value themselves according to physical possessions they have accumulated. Others base their confidence by their professional status, expensive car, annual bonus, stock options, pension plans, and neighborhood they live in. The slightest threat to this image can shatter their self confidence. 

Self confidence influenced by external factors
      Life moves in cycles.  The friends you made in high school and college can be displaced after graduation, marriage or relocation to a totally new city requiring you to make new friends. The fame and glory you have can be quickly forgotten by people, especially if economic and social status changes occur due to financial reverses, diagnosis of cancer, drug addition, or HIV.

      A dependence on external factors to generate your feelings of worthiness can create a cycling of self-confidence that constantly changes according to external circumstances. If you are able to modify your way of thinking it is possible to feel confident based on who you are and not as a result of something that your possessions.

     Accurate and effective information, supported by psychology research, can provide the foundation for understand and application to personal problems. For more information follow the links below.

     There are many reasons why confidence or the lack there of, is such a contentious issue in many people's lives. The media conveys many examples of self doubt that is so prevalent in our society. We are taught to doubt ourselves and depend on other sources to validate our decisions. This conditioning process helps to keep specific groups dependent rather than to teach them to be independent and strive for higher goals.

     Inaction is not the answer, we must take positive proactive action to conquer our self-doubts. We gain power and confidence in ourselves by making decisions based on reality, not someone's perception of us.

Recommended Reading:


How to Build core confidence   Confidence is something that everyone seems to want to have, and it comes in many forms. There are the people who just seem to be born with it, there are people who sorely lack it and there are people who have it but you can't seem to work out why.

PPT Using External data Sources to Increase Confidence Using External Data Sources. to Increase Confidence in. Assessment Conclusions. Who We Are … Seton Hall University.

Athletes' Choices Can Help or Hinder the Development of Confidence
Jan. 9, 2010 ... Many athletes have an “outside-in” orientation and base their confidence largely on external sources that are inconsistent or out of their control.

Confidence and the Courage to Take Action  Courage can help you overcome a lack of confidence, but what kind of courage? ... Our children are taught to look to external sources for validation that they have the potential and the courage to dream, even when they didn't feel especially confident, and to push forward to achieve their hopes and ambitions.

Frustration - Psychologist Anywhere Anytime  Our goal in dealing with external sources of frustration is to recognize the situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome.  If we quit once and suffer a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, then the next time an opportunity occurs, we will be less likely to make an attempt because of the fear of failing.

References:

Developing Personality and Character Traits

Resources:

The following internet links have been gleaned from personal communications
combined with information from public institutions and athletic organizations/
associations that have a web presence with information concerning team and
individual sports programs:

   
Healthy Relationships
   

All materials are copy protected. 
The limited use of the materials for education purposes is allowed providing
credit is given for the source of the materials.


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